The Races For Love and Personals

On one of those days when you are bored and have nothing better to do, I decided to join one of these online dating sites. I chose match.com since it appeared that it was the most popular. It therefore seemed to me that it would offer a much larger pool of people to connect with. I even went as far as getting a 3 month subscription. I figured that if I cannot meet someone from the site in 3 months, its probably not going to happen after that. As it turns out, I should have paid more attention before i paid any money.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that majority of the women on personals sites in general are white/caucasian. This I felt was a good thing initially considering that being from Africa and from a country where there are predominantly black people like myself, this would increase the chances of meeting a white girl and thus find out more about other races other than my own. Since I would be living in America well into the foreseeable future, the idea of doing something different appealed greatly to me.

Imagine then my surprise when most profiles I viewed had most white girls stating that they only wanted to date white guys. Others (and quite a substantial number too) selected almost every other race apart from black as the criteria of guys they were willing to date.
I cannot pretend that I am unaware of the history of race relations in this country and I've in fact always said that the tragedy of the civil rights movement was that while it provided black people the right to sit anywhere they wanted on a bus, it could do nothing to diffuse the resultant tension on that bus.

It is really painful to find so many nice interesting girls on these profiles who in my opinion would have been perfect matches and then find out that they would not date black people. It is also sad because I don't think I have done anything that should exclude me from the opportunity to choose from a wide range of people. Note, I am also suspicious of white girls who indicate that they want to date black guys exclusively. It speaks to the same problem in a reverse sense.

Too bad equal opportunity does not extend to love. Nor am I suggesting that it should. I just feel that its not enough to be politically correct (i.e not say nigger etc). In addition, it is my wish that everyone truly believes in their heart of hearts that we are all the same. A world where categories such as ethnicity won't even need to exist on personals profiles. Its a big wish but a man can dream.

In the meantime if anyone can give me reasons for this problem, I would be grateful. Not that its going to help my situation any but at least it would be good to know for sure rather than speculate. Don't mince words, say it like it is.

Theory and Practical

Back in the secondary school days, the sciences (Physics, Chemistry and Biology) were taught as theory (inclassroom) and practical (labs). The idea was that by doing practical applications of the Theory learned in class, we have better understanding. It all seemed pretty trivial back then but apparently, it has become very much the way I handle new concepts I encounter. This is especially true of late given the recent events that strongly suggest that just because it seems reasonable in our heads or on paper, does not mean there is any practical application or any basis in reality. The conversation with arrow and deez after the game (111205, we won by the way) brought this issue to mind. Arrow was saying that the height of a high jumper is a factor in his ability to jump i.e. the taller the athlete was, the more advantage he had over a shorter athlete since, he argued, a higher center of gravity (in the taller person's case), the less work needed to go over the bar.
Sounds reasonable when you think about it but I disagreed on the basis that from high jumps that I have seen, height difference does not seem to play a role. Furthermore, in order for me to accept the height factor, I would have to see data that supports the assertion. In the typical arrow fashion, since I did not seem to have a reason for disagreeing, he surmised that I merely wanted to drag. Maybe I was...but I think it simply represented my growing disillusionment with my ideas of the way life works. Here I am without a job, a year after graduation with a degree and GPA that in theory should have gotten me a job fairly quickly. In theory, when I was called to the Baker Hughes interview, I should have gotten the job. In practice, oksy who wasn't even deemed qualified for the interview got the job over me. In theory, being a nice guy, having a sense of humor,attending social events etc should have gotten me a girlfriend but in practice, the drought has been so bad that I have become a laughing stock of everyone including those girls who think that I am now so desperate that I would ask anybody out.
Bad as the situation is, some good comes out of it. At least I am understanding better the idea that 'talk is cheap'. The world moves according to its own law. Part of that law allows man the illusion and arrogance to think he can control part of it. Part of it periodically removes that illusion to advance a greater picture we can never hope to comprehend. It is this twin forces that are known as destiny and fate. As I understand them better, I can, like the learning swimmer, learn to let the waves carry me and keep me afloat and in the midst of the turmoil, I may advance.

Hear ye, Hear Ye!! Ze Big Easy shall rise again!!!

At least thats what Ray Nagin is telling us. If all goes well, things might be rolling again by the time Mardi Gras comes around. I imagine that if there is one in New Orleans next year, it would be extra WILD!! Thankfully some of the residents in the 'service' industry are itching to open. Excerpts from the this article:

"If we get power, we can bring the dancers in and start working," said Javier Rosado, who's been helping clean the Big Daddy's strip club so it can reopen.

Even though business won't be like it was before the storm, Rosado said, the opportunity to make money still exists in the near-desolate city. "The soldiers keep passing by and asking when we'll open," he said. "I'm sure we'll make money."

Can't Wait!!

The Opposite Sex

I have long since been painfully aware that I have problems with women. That being the case, I had resigned myself to rewarding friendships with the few that took it upon themselves to be friendly. It seems even that small consolation prize is too much to ask. You see shortly after I got to the US, I got friendly with this girl, who we shall call "SmallSD". She quickly became my very good friend bacause I felt that out of all the girls I had been around, she was the one who treated me the nicest. As a means of safeguarding the friendship, I took special care to resist any impulse to attempt to advance the relationship further. This helped the friendship to run from roughly late 2001 to date...

It turns out that I needn't have bothered because from what I hear, she has been telling people that I liked her and always wanted to date her and she didn't give me any chances. The only reason why I would not believe that this is true is that this news is coming from sources she is not on speaking terms with at the moment and therefore their objectivity is suspect.

Anyway, I confronted her about it and she denied ever doing such a thing...Thing is though, I am far from convinced. It really calls our friendship into question and I'm at a loss as to whether to keep things going or abort..

Point of all this is, even friendships with women is proving difficult for me and there is no reason for me to believe that this will change anytime soon. If I was the type who believed in karma, I would simply assumed that all this is because I had commited great wrongs in my past life. Since I dont think thats the case, I can only wonder what the devil is wrong with me that apparently is ok with everyone else I know....comments will be appreciated if u can make sense of my rambling!!!!

Storm Front

My mum once told me, it is futile to try and please everybody and it is stupid to bother trying. I therefore understand that there would always be people that don't like you no matter what you do. As a matter of fact, I am quite comfortable with that since it would suggest that I'm not an 'ass-kisser'. What I find slightly uncomfortable is the reasons why some people don't like me. This girl 'bak' has really been getting on my nerves.

Character Defamation

I guess I should provide the obligatory apology for the hiatus in my blogging. Well, lets just say that I simply forgot about it!!! In any case, a big thing is occuring right now and what do you know, I remembered I had a blog somewhere.....
The biggest lesson I have learnt in recent time is that there is a high price to be paid for being a whistle blower or the person who speaks up. In a college setting, you could acquire a very nasty reputation! In its worst form, once any unsavoury gossip about anyone crops up, it is immediately attributed to you whether or not you had anything to do with it. I got a similar unhealthy recognition at work simply because I told a construction guy he didn't have to be so rude to people. So, I am now at a crossroad...do I become more taciturn in my dealings with people or do I continue to champion the truth...... I'm opting for the former option just so i can see how it goes...will let y'all know how it works out.

All Hail The Master Chief

"I need a weapon"

Halo 2 finally hit the stores yesterday. My roomie was at the mall to pick it up since he had the good sense to preorder. It appears the line streched all the way from the Gamestop store to the mall door! For a small town like Lafayette, a lot of people sure like them some halo!

Needless to say, the game is great and improves a lot on the original. For one thing, the storyline seems to have a greater impact which is cool since I liked the whole halo concept from the start. Can't wait to sit down with it once I get thru my tests.

This weekend, I decided to quit the African Association. Their insistence on playing in a tournament they didn't even prepare for was simply the last straw. I tried to warn them, they wouldn't listen and now we have suffered a string of defeats that are unprecedented in our history. The way things are going, our three year winning streak is about to come to an end all because of 'tradition'. Well enough is enough, time to decamp and look for more progressive societies. Maybe the carribean students have a vacancy....