The Races For Love and Personals
On one of those days when you are bored and have nothing better to do, I decided to join one of these online dating sites. I chose match.com since it appeared that it was the most popular. It therefore seemed to me that it would offer a much larger pool of people to connect with. I even went as far as getting a 3 month subscription. I figured that if I cannot meet someone from the site in 3 months, its probably not going to happen after that. As it turns out, I should have paid more attention before i paid any money.
You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that majority of the women on personals sites in general are white/caucasian. This I felt was a good thing initially considering that being from Africa and from a country where there are predominantly black people like myself, this would increase the chances of meeting a white girl and thus find out more about other races other than my own. Since I would be living in America well into the foreseeable future, the idea of doing something different appealed greatly to me.
Imagine then my surprise when most profiles I viewed had most white girls stating that they only wanted to date white guys. Others (and quite a substantial number too) selected almost every other race apart from black as the criteria of guys they were willing to date.
I cannot pretend that I am unaware of the history of race relations in this country and I've in fact always said that the tragedy of the civil rights movement was that while it provided black people the right to sit anywhere they wanted on a bus, it could do nothing to diffuse the resultant tension on that bus.
It is really painful to find so many nice interesting girls on these profiles who in my opinion would have been perfect matches and then find out that they would not date black people. It is also sad because I don't think I have done anything that should exclude me from the opportunity to choose from a wide range of people. Note, I am also suspicious of white girls who indicate that they want to date black guys exclusively. It speaks to the same problem in a reverse sense.
Too bad equal opportunity does not extend to love. Nor am I suggesting that it should. I just feel that its not enough to be politically correct (i.e not say nigger etc). In addition, it is my wish that everyone truly believes in their heart of hearts that we are all the same. A world where categories such as ethnicity won't even need to exist on personals profiles. Its a big wish but a man can dream.
In the meantime if anyone can give me reasons for this problem, I would be grateful. Not that its going to help my situation any but at least it would be good to know for sure rather than speculate. Don't mince words, say it like it is.
You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that majority of the women on personals sites in general are white/caucasian. This I felt was a good thing initially considering that being from Africa and from a country where there are predominantly black people like myself, this would increase the chances of meeting a white girl and thus find out more about other races other than my own. Since I would be living in America well into the foreseeable future, the idea of doing something different appealed greatly to me.
Imagine then my surprise when most profiles I viewed had most white girls stating that they only wanted to date white guys. Others (and quite a substantial number too) selected almost every other race apart from black as the criteria of guys they were willing to date.
I cannot pretend that I am unaware of the history of race relations in this country and I've in fact always said that the tragedy of the civil rights movement was that while it provided black people the right to sit anywhere they wanted on a bus, it could do nothing to diffuse the resultant tension on that bus.
It is really painful to find so many nice interesting girls on these profiles who in my opinion would have been perfect matches and then find out that they would not date black people. It is also sad because I don't think I have done anything that should exclude me from the opportunity to choose from a wide range of people. Note, I am also suspicious of white girls who indicate that they want to date black guys exclusively. It speaks to the same problem in a reverse sense.
Too bad equal opportunity does not extend to love. Nor am I suggesting that it should. I just feel that its not enough to be politically correct (i.e not say nigger etc). In addition, it is my wish that everyone truly believes in their heart of hearts that we are all the same. A world where categories such as ethnicity won't even need to exist on personals profiles. Its a big wish but a man can dream.
In the meantime if anyone can give me reasons for this problem, I would be grateful. Not that its going to help my situation any but at least it would be good to know for sure rather than speculate. Don't mince words, say it like it is.
Labels: Relationships
posted by GMan | 6:28 AM
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