Theory of Negativity
As I saw his name on my caller ID when he called, it suddenly occured to me that I hadn't spoken to my friend Refugee in a while. While we were talking though, he made a bad mistake
....he asked me how I was doing.
I have been going through a lot of problems this semester chief of which has been my incresingly irritating inability to get a job. As a recent graduate in electrical engineering with a GPA of over 3.0, I find myself wondering if education was worth it especially considering that I had to borrow money from Uncle Sam to fund it. Money which I will have to back in the near future. Money which I can only make by getting a job. It is this infinite loop that is my life that has been occupying my mind for some time now and how to break out of it.
It therefore didn't take a lot of prodding from Refugee for me to start unloading my problems on him. I mean, since I got to the 'land of the free' he has been my friend the longest and I felt quite comfortable telling him my problems. So I started with my job issues, I moved on to my chronic inability to secure any kind of serious relationship with the opposite sex and I was about to mention the $400 I just spent to fix my car when....
"dawg, I hate to put you down or nothing but it seems everytime I call you, you are always telling me about all the bad things going on in your life"
This of course stopped my short. For the next few moments, I suddenly realized that not only was he right, absolutely nothing good was going on in my life right now and that thing about 'being happy simply because you are alive' had gotten old a long time ago. Ever the one to find a silver lining in every cloud, I proudly informed him that a female friend was coming down from philly to see me this weekend. He was happy for me, at least it was something positive that might have an effect on all my negativity. It seemed like it was going to be a great weekend.
Or so I thought.... (always wanted to do that!)
This friend from philly whom we shall call 'odun' was introduced to me by my cousin FB over the phone apparently as a hookup if you will, about 2 years ago. The friendship started with chats on MSN, then eventually progressed to talking on the phone. The conversations went quite well and to her credit, she seemed quite intelligent and smart. When I queried my cousin as to how she looked like, he said she looked good. I took his word for it since I have had the oppourtunity of meeting many of his girlfriends and all were good looking.
Imagine then my disappointment when I met her in the airport when she arrived. She had to be the ugliest girl I have had anything to do with. Don't get me wrong, she dressed well and had a certain amount of grace but...ugh. The reader might be forgiven for thinking that I am some kind of shallow inconsiderate prick but that is far from the case. You see, I am not exactly Tom Cruise or Denzel Washington and more importantly, I apparently am not blessed with the so called 'game' necessary to hold and manipulate the attentions of the opposite sex. As a result, I have had to work significantly harder than most to 'get the girl'. In recent times, I have discovered that it is possible that I will have this problem with most girls regardless of quality in terms of looks, personality etc. Therefore, it seems unwise to settle for just anything since even then there is no guarantee I won't be summarily rejected. My last ill advised attempt at a relationship with Buckteeth is adequate proof of this. So, I always prefer the highest bidder when it comes to girls, because their rejections if any, make so much more sense!
Needless to say, odun was the one who initiated the welcome hug. I quickly decided to distract my brain by engaging in the requisite chit-chat "how was your trip?" etc. We had planned to go to H-Town when she arrived although in hindsight, this was her primary reason with seeing me placing a distant second. In fact, rather than say we planned, it would be more accurate to say I say cajoled into taking her to H-Town. I dropped her at my place so that I could attend a previously scheduled meeting. When I returned, we set out for H-Town almost immediately (her idea).
During the next 4 hours of the journey, we talked little more than half the time. The rest of time, I was listening to my car stereo while she talked on the phone. This would become a metaphor of sorts representing the entire weekend. Much of the conversation involved the usual I've got so and so plans for my life and stuff. Either she is that ambitious or it is just an expression of the penchant of my people to try to impress others. Well, I was sorta impressed I guess.
We finally got to FB's place and of course, he was happy to see us. Small talk, chit-chat here and there and the first sign of trouble. She wanted to go to the store and rather than ask me to take her, she asks FB to take her. I'm not nitpicking but I believe there had to be a particular reason why she didn't ask me especially since FB would have had to use my car to take her. Even worse, when I asked to go with them, her displeasure with the idea was quite obvious and so I backed down and opted to stay at the apartment.
FB came back and said he was going to Church for a vigil. She offered to go with him but he gave her excuses not too. Apparently he wanted us (myself and Odun) to be alone in the house to see if we couldn't ignite some 'action'. He needn't have bothered because 1., Before I even met Odun, I had decided that such an attempt would be unwise on my part since it usually means, as far as a nigerian chick is concerned that I have signed the contract of commitment. 2. With the way she looked, I was very doubtful that 'mini-me' would have represented. 3. She probably expected me to do just that and I'll be damned if I act according to a chic's expectation so early. And so I spent the night watching TV while she worked on the computer until she annouced she was going to bed.
The next day which I hoped would be an oppourtunity for us to get to know each other better (at least, in the absence of romance, friendship may suffice) did not go so well either. When she said she wished to visit an Uncle, I had assumed that it would be a quick visit and we could go about our business. This was however not to be....
On the excuse of not wanting any lectures from her uncle, she suggested I merely drop her in the parking lot. When I raised the issue of going to the resturant we had planned to go to, she said she would call me when she was done so that we could go. At this point, I decided to call the weekend a loss. Here I was missing work, missing the party of a very good friend etc for this!
In an attempt to redeem the weekend, I decided to visit my friend 'catapult'. He seemed to be doing very well in his new apartment. I commented on the size of his tv. He laughed and said it was actually the second he has had to buy because the last one was stolen by black lesbians. As much as I prodded him to tell me the full story, he would not citing his being tired of telling the story over and over. Anyway, we bullshitted about this and that as old high school buddies do and time flew by. Later in the afternoon, odun calls that she is ready. I tell her we'll be there soon.
Then she calls, again, and again and again.
When we finally go to get her, she suddenly decides she is tired and just wants to pick up her food and leave. It was 7pm! So we pick up her food, drop her at home and just when we were about to return to the resturant, FB decides to come along. Next thing you know, Odun is asking where she should put the key because she planned to go out! So much for being tired eh?
Anyway, FB, catapult and I go to the resturant. Talk about soccer etc and then after we finish eating (food was good by the way), FB asks me to foot the bill. No shame at all as far as that man is concerned. I end up spending my money on him rather than the girl he was supposed to be hooking me up with.
When we returned, she wasn't around. At this point I was ok with it. I mean, if she was trying to avoid spending time with me, fine. What really pissed me off was when she called FB to come and pick her up from wherever she went in my car!
The rest of the night involved me trying to hide my displeasure with this girl. I started dreaming of the point where i would drop her off at the airtport the next day.
And drop her off i did at the door with a goodbye and a half hearted hug and 'call me'. I couldnt wait to get away.
Moral to this story is that if someone ever hooks u up with someone you haven't met, ask for a picture and meet the person as soon as possible. (had to rush the ending, the post was getting too long)
....he asked me how I was doing.
I have been going through a lot of problems this semester chief of which has been my incresingly irritating inability to get a job. As a recent graduate in electrical engineering with a GPA of over 3.0, I find myself wondering if education was worth it especially considering that I had to borrow money from Uncle Sam to fund it. Money which I will have to back in the near future. Money which I can only make by getting a job. It is this infinite loop that is my life that has been occupying my mind for some time now and how to break out of it.
It therefore didn't take a lot of prodding from Refugee for me to start unloading my problems on him. I mean, since I got to the 'land of the free' he has been my friend the longest and I felt quite comfortable telling him my problems. So I started with my job issues, I moved on to my chronic inability to secure any kind of serious relationship with the opposite sex and I was about to mention the $400 I just spent to fix my car when....
"dawg, I hate to put you down or nothing but it seems everytime I call you, you are always telling me about all the bad things going on in your life"
This of course stopped my short. For the next few moments, I suddenly realized that not only was he right, absolutely nothing good was going on in my life right now and that thing about 'being happy simply because you are alive' had gotten old a long time ago. Ever the one to find a silver lining in every cloud, I proudly informed him that a female friend was coming down from philly to see me this weekend. He was happy for me, at least it was something positive that might have an effect on all my negativity. It seemed like it was going to be a great weekend.
Or so I thought.... (always wanted to do that!)
This friend from philly whom we shall call 'odun' was introduced to me by my cousin FB over the phone apparently as a hookup if you will, about 2 years ago. The friendship started with chats on MSN, then eventually progressed to talking on the phone. The conversations went quite well and to her credit, she seemed quite intelligent and smart. When I queried my cousin as to how she looked like, he said she looked good. I took his word for it since I have had the oppourtunity of meeting many of his girlfriends and all were good looking.
Imagine then my disappointment when I met her in the airport when she arrived. She had to be the ugliest girl I have had anything to do with. Don't get me wrong, she dressed well and had a certain amount of grace but...ugh. The reader might be forgiven for thinking that I am some kind of shallow inconsiderate prick but that is far from the case. You see, I am not exactly Tom Cruise or Denzel Washington and more importantly, I apparently am not blessed with the so called 'game' necessary to hold and manipulate the attentions of the opposite sex. As a result, I have had to work significantly harder than most to 'get the girl'. In recent times, I have discovered that it is possible that I will have this problem with most girls regardless of quality in terms of looks, personality etc. Therefore, it seems unwise to settle for just anything since even then there is no guarantee I won't be summarily rejected. My last ill advised attempt at a relationship with Buckteeth is adequate proof of this. So, I always prefer the highest bidder when it comes to girls, because their rejections if any, make so much more sense!
Needless to say, odun was the one who initiated the welcome hug. I quickly decided to distract my brain by engaging in the requisite chit-chat "how was your trip?" etc. We had planned to go to H-Town when she arrived although in hindsight, this was her primary reason with seeing me placing a distant second. In fact, rather than say we planned, it would be more accurate to say I say cajoled into taking her to H-Town. I dropped her at my place so that I could attend a previously scheduled meeting. When I returned, we set out for H-Town almost immediately (her idea).
During the next 4 hours of the journey, we talked little more than half the time. The rest of time, I was listening to my car stereo while she talked on the phone. This would become a metaphor of sorts representing the entire weekend. Much of the conversation involved the usual I've got so and so plans for my life and stuff. Either she is that ambitious or it is just an expression of the penchant of my people to try to impress others. Well, I was sorta impressed I guess.
We finally got to FB's place and of course, he was happy to see us. Small talk, chit-chat here and there and the first sign of trouble. She wanted to go to the store and rather than ask me to take her, she asks FB to take her. I'm not nitpicking but I believe there had to be a particular reason why she didn't ask me especially since FB would have had to use my car to take her. Even worse, when I asked to go with them, her displeasure with the idea was quite obvious and so I backed down and opted to stay at the apartment.
FB came back and said he was going to Church for a vigil. She offered to go with him but he gave her excuses not too. Apparently he wanted us (myself and Odun) to be alone in the house to see if we couldn't ignite some 'action'. He needn't have bothered because 1., Before I even met Odun, I had decided that such an attempt would be unwise on my part since it usually means, as far as a nigerian chick is concerned that I have signed the contract of commitment. 2. With the way she looked, I was very doubtful that 'mini-me' would have represented. 3. She probably expected me to do just that and I'll be damned if I act according to a chic's expectation so early. And so I spent the night watching TV while she worked on the computer until she annouced she was going to bed.
The next day which I hoped would be an oppourtunity for us to get to know each other better (at least, in the absence of romance, friendship may suffice) did not go so well either. When she said she wished to visit an Uncle, I had assumed that it would be a quick visit and we could go about our business. This was however not to be....
On the excuse of not wanting any lectures from her uncle, she suggested I merely drop her in the parking lot. When I raised the issue of going to the resturant we had planned to go to, she said she would call me when she was done so that we could go. At this point, I decided to call the weekend a loss. Here I was missing work, missing the party of a very good friend etc for this!
In an attempt to redeem the weekend, I decided to visit my friend 'catapult'. He seemed to be doing very well in his new apartment. I commented on the size of his tv. He laughed and said it was actually the second he has had to buy because the last one was stolen by black lesbians. As much as I prodded him to tell me the full story, he would not citing his being tired of telling the story over and over. Anyway, we bullshitted about this and that as old high school buddies do and time flew by. Later in the afternoon, odun calls that she is ready. I tell her we'll be there soon.
Then she calls, again, and again and again.
When we finally go to get her, she suddenly decides she is tired and just wants to pick up her food and leave. It was 7pm! So we pick up her food, drop her at home and just when we were about to return to the resturant, FB decides to come along. Next thing you know, Odun is asking where she should put the key because she planned to go out! So much for being tired eh?
Anyway, FB, catapult and I go to the resturant. Talk about soccer etc and then after we finish eating (food was good by the way), FB asks me to foot the bill. No shame at all as far as that man is concerned. I end up spending my money on him rather than the girl he was supposed to be hooking me up with.
When we returned, she wasn't around. At this point I was ok with it. I mean, if she was trying to avoid spending time with me, fine. What really pissed me off was when she called FB to come and pick her up from wherever she went in my car!
The rest of the night involved me trying to hide my displeasure with this girl. I started dreaming of the point where i would drop her off at the airtport the next day.
And drop her off i did at the door with a goodbye and a half hearted hug and 'call me'. I couldnt wait to get away.
Moral to this story is that if someone ever hooks u up with someone you haven't met, ask for a picture and meet the person as soon as possible. (had to rush the ending, the post was getting too long)
posted by GMan | 1:40 PM
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